Adventures of Toronto PUA

My buddy suggests to check out local Sports Meetup group party. I picture sports chicks in  sexy yoga pants playing volleyball and decide to go check it out.

We show up, there’s free pizza and a bunch of guys playing soccer at the stadium. As we chat over food we get acquainted with some dude who turns out to be an engineer, just like us – the nerd we all used to be before we became these cool social dudes who can talk to anybody. I sense he came here to meet people and is pretty social, but has no girlfriend. It’s now quarter past 9pm and I’m thinking it’s almost time to go out to some target rich environment and get some rejections under my belt. I invite the new guy to hang out with us. He’s new, doesn’t know many people in town, or places to go to and we need some fresh blood to show off. This will be good for our motivation too.

As we go towards our cars I ask him if he’s heard of “The Game”. He says he has read the book (damn, it’s no secret anymore!). I tell him “so this is what we do. We go out and pick up random chicks. It’s a lot of fun. You’ll see”. We walk in to Pravda, and boom right away we open our warm up sets. He’s mesmerized. He says “you guys don’t waste any time!”. “No we don’t. 3 second rule!”, I say. We are fearless – we approach, we fail, we get turn down again and again. It would have been those brutal nights otherwise but now “we don’t give a fuck”. We are being watched and learned from and … strangely enough we are having fun. The music is very inspiring there’s someone beating the drum to add some rythm, the people are having fun. And so are we. We push ourselves to stay all night at the same place and have fun instead our usual walking from place to place.

And we meet tons of girls. There’s a 6-set celebrating Bachelorette party. They are sitting down as we approach. It’s awkward for us tall guys talking to 6 seated girls. We ask who is the one getting married. When they point to her, I tease her “Don’t do it!”. But then I leave. I can’t bring myself to be that douchebag who tries to get them to go home with me. I know, those damn morals, always get in a way. There are many russian girls. Some of them seem distant and cold. Then, suddenly I switch to russian. They’re all smiles and think it’s funny how I pretended to be canadian.  There are asian sets. Nearly all of them tell me they have boyfriends. I don’t care. We are having fun. I kino them putting my arm on their back, taking it off (not to be creepy). None of them push my hand away. I’m too shamefull to touch them more, hug them. I don’t know them at all – they’re strangers to me. That’s a mistake – I need to stop caring and step out of my comfort zone. Perhaps I make that my mission next time. This time our goal is to stay at one place and push our interactions further, perhaps build a deeper connection. But how do you do that?

I need to figure out what questions to ask beyond, “What do you like to do, you seem outgoing/quiet. You seem friendly/distant. You look like you are from…”. I need some routines that will allow me to show my vulnerable side and connect with them better. I need to go back to drawing board.

Overall we had tons of fun. Made a new friend. Got one phone number from a girl who would perhaps would like to go ballroom dancing (I sense she’ll probably ignore my texts – I haven’t built any connection with her). Gave one number to a girl who was showing a lot of skin (open chest dress) to which I paid no attention. I don’t think she’ll call me. Girls never do. Who cares. We had tons of fun. There was lots of energy. Like being at the party. I even woke up in the morning still feeling the energy. Perhaps because we had no alcohol and were non needy.

I’m really stressed as I’m going through some personal issues and I’m so happy going out as I jump in my car I shout loudly “Yeah!” “It’s awesome!” “Life is great!”. That gets me into a good mood. I listen to some good music and as I pull into parking downtown, my friends are already at South of Temperance. I walk over there and I’m really surprised to find out they have a lineup. As I wait in line, I talk to a couple of dudes behind me, they’re not even saying a word. I’m thinking, jeez talk about anti-social types, going to the bar to socialize. Bouncer is holding us and we see chicks leaving the place and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Nice! We tease him that he’s no bouncer, he’s the owner.  Another 2 chicks come out and also kiss him this time on the lips. One of them says “he’s my husband”. We ask if it’s an open marriage. Good fun so far.

I get in, and I’m amazed at the crowd. So many people came out. I spot my friends. I walk like I’m on top of the world. Somebody actually read my blog and was really entertained by it. Amazed I went and read my own blog from very beginning and even I was impressed. I feel like I’m the shit. Just before my fragile ego will get bruised and stomped on…

But these are professional people, so nobody is actually rude. Everyone is civil and nice to talk to. I watch my buddy open a girl and chat with her as I walk away and open a 2 set as my other friend stands at the distance. He has approach anxiety and is locked up. I know that feeling, but I feel like I’m a king of the world. So I open a 2 set that look like business ladies. Turns out they’re lawyers. I tease them “Oh, no, not the lawyers, I should stay away from you” as I turn away. But then I tell them “wait! are you criminal lawyers? If you are, I might need your help”. Now they’re staring at me. I tell them a story how I was given 3 days military jail when I was in the army for insulting military officer. We chat about how they like their jobs, I ask them if they fight each other in court if they pretend they’re angry, even though they’re in the same profession. Bla bla bla. I’m not really into them but I still suggest we should go on a date. I just love how their faces lit up even though they turn me down. I guess I just do it for sport as it gives me opportunity to handle objections. Yes I’m that horrible. But I don’t take myself or others too seriously.

That was first set, we walk over and open a large group of girls. The one I talk to is social and intelligent. This is the problem, when you open a group you end up talking to whoever is the most social because she’s the one replying or keeps the conversation going.  But then I sense we’re not really compatible and then I feel guilty switching to someone else or even if I do, sometimes it’s not much to talk about with someone who is not very social or shy. Nor is it socially acceptable to bounce from person to person. But I still get her number, because it’s like when you’re fishing. If the fish is biting, you don’t walk away from it. (She later ignored my text and I deleted her)

So we leave the place and walk over to Keg. My buddy is teasing me about me ruining his night and the other friend for getting him drunk. But he only drank half of glass of wine or something. Then he says he is also hungry, wants a sandwich. He is so high maintenance. Anyway it’s very relaxing atmosphere there at Keg. I open someone at a corner of the table with a compliment how stylish she looks. I get zero reaction though, not even a nod, so I walk away, visit a washroom, we leave, walk over to Earl’s. Yep if anything this walking has many health benefits. My back feels very nice the next day.

Earl’s has a lineup to the bar side and no lineup to restaurant side with a small bar. We walk there, and I open a lone older lady sitting by herself at the table by the wall. I ask her who is she with, she says with the boyfriend. I tell her “You have a BF, that’s nice. Does he treat you nicely?” She says Yes. I say “I wouldn’t”. She laughs and says she likes my line and says it should work on many other girls at the bar. But they ignore us. I’m really impressed with myself to have stolen Nick Savoy’s line and decide to try it on more girls.

We leave and decide to go to Pravda. We walk back to my car, my friend gets his sandwich on the way. We park near Pravda. The lineup is huge. We walk to O & B but there’s no-one there and we decide to try Beer Markt. On the way we spot Keg, walk in and open a 2 set. We chat about something and my wing boldly asks his girl if she would like to go out some time. I’m thinking this is somewhat awkward. But I stay to see if he needs any help. His girl is all lit up shining and happy being asked on a date but my girl gets into it and tells “blah blah blah This is very interesting for me, I’ve been married for a long time, forgot how it is yada yada,  you guys should exchange names Facebook whatever” I’m thinking why wouldn’t she mind her own business and stop interfering. I try to re-engage her but she’s so preoccupied with what’s going on between my friend and his girl, she completely ignores me. So after a while I tell her “You’re pretty dominant, aren’t you? That’s cool, but why wouldn’t you let your friend decide for herself. That’s what good friends do. They’re happy for them”. But we leave. My mistake is I let her go instead of keeping her occupied and away from my friend’s girl. She most definitely got jealous and screwed up her girl friend’s prospect for a date. How can friends do this to each other, it’s beyond me.

Anyways, just before we leave, I open another girl sitting by herself at the table waiting for her friend who went to the washroom. She tells me she has a BF, I pull my BF line how I wouldn’t treat her well. She says “it’s good to know”. Jeez, so square, gets no jokes. It’s like I’d abuse her or something. We leave, and I walk over to Beer Markt. My friends are half way in the line as I cut in in front of other people looking at them and saying “that’s what I usually do, cut in front of other people, well because I’m big, and nobody says anything to me anyway. Too nice”. Soo much fun messing with people.

We are too good to wait in line, so we walk over to my car stopping at Cest What. In there I open a 2 set pointing out how “gesture expressive” a girl is. And she is super sweet. She tells me she is 6′ tall Scottish, started a business of healthy food manufacturing. I tell her about my business, we have great fun chatting. She also has a BF, to which I say I can wait 6 months and if they’re not together we’ll go for a drink. She is super impressed with my handling objections and tells me it’s a serious relationship. I wanna leave but my buddy is engaged in conversation, so I stay and chat some more. Then I’ve had enough and tell him “We should go see Barry”. That’s a code word of me asking him if we should go. He says yes and we go. I tell him I was waiting on him, he says he was waiting on me. I tease him for not closing his girl. We should handle this more efficiently next time.

We drive to King West, order a pizza, walk into a Spice Route, a place where we find a couple of sets, not very interesting, but we walk to the patio and find a really cool and friendly set. We chat about Brant House, social dancing, whatever. They’re super intelligent and smart and cute and also not available. She says if we meet again next time, we will go out. I tell her this is Toronto, you never meet the same person twice. She says if fate will bring us together we will. I’m thinking whatever, let’s go get pizza.

Now we walk in to Beer Markt. In there I spot at least 6′ tall girl and I’m drawn to her like a magnet, but … there’s nothing to talk about to her. She says she doesn’t do anything for fun, no passions, even admits she’s boring. I sense she’s probably right. We walk over to Thompson hotel, where we find an asian set, not particularly friendly or engaging and I’m out of energy to talk, so we leave and as we walk towards my car, we have a very interesting conversation with my buddies. How come girls can get together, go the bar and talk to each other all night. What do they talk about? We are good friends and when we get together, we mostly stare at each other silently not saying much. One other friend points out that chicks talk much more than us. Probably true.

Later we spot a two set walking towards King street and they ask us where Century Room is. My buddy tells them it’s 1:40am and they’re probably closed by now and asks them if they wanna go on a date. They say “No”. We all laugh. My buddy starts explaining himself how frustrated he is that he has to talk to them before asking them on a date. He says “I don’t want to talk about the same shit over and over, I just want to take them out”. I tease him that he looks at girls like obstacles to pussy. Like they’re in his way. We all have a good laugh.

It’s been a busy night, lots of interaction, not much results. It seems the girls we’re interested in are already taken so we get to talk to the ones that aren’t … as my buddy put it “old and fat ones”. I add “that’s why we feel so depressed sometimes – because we get rejected by chicks even though we are clearly out of their league”.

Yes, it finally happened. I knew it would. I’ve put a link to this blog on my website. My thinking was, well it’s something I do, it’s somewhat technical – I manage this blog, so it’s a skill, so why shouldn’t I show it off. And that’s where she found out – a girl, went to my site, checked everything there – I mean she really dug in. There were other, more interesting links. She must have checked them out too. I know, eh. She would probably go through my drawers if I invited her home

So who is she, anyway? Well, it’s someone I’ve met at a dance class. A week ago one night I went for a jog, and on my MP3 player I came to listen to this really amazing Viennese Waltz and I felt like going dancing and I remembered there was dance event in town in a couple of days, so I went there … to dance and I met her. We danced. She was pretty good at it, not amazingly awesome, but still good. So I stroke a conversation, we chatted a bit, danced some more and then my buddy left the premises – he is not a dancer. So I felt guilty for making him wait for me, even though I wanted to stay and dance some more. So I asked for her number, she gave it to me and off I went.

We exchanged a few texts, I didn’t really game her – I didn’t have to. She liked me already. I could tell – her texts were longer than mine, which means she was investing. I didn’t text her as much. I knew if I hold back a bit, I will seem mysterious and that will want her to chase me more. It’s a basic psychology. It’s what I used to do (chase) before I learned that if someone is chased, their instinct will be to flee. If I don’t, they’ll come to me, but only if I have value. And my value was dancing. It’s a passion of mine.

So anyway, I sent her a link to some dance videos I took for her. Normally I wouldn’t do anything for a girl I don’t even know. (supplicating!) But she invested in her texts, so I did upload some videos on my web page and send her a link. Then, one day I’m driving home after my dance class and I feel my Blackberry vibrating … it’s a text message from her – found your blog, your’re PUA, what a douchebag, get lost…

So that got me thinking – is it wrong what I did? Or is it wrong with something that I am?   Well, for starters, I’m honest and have nothing to hide. If someone is that closed minded as to not accept me for what I am, perhaps I should find out sooner rather than later. I mean think about it – here in North America (perhaps I should say in western civilization) there are so many guys who don’t have girlfriends. Is it wrong if they decide to just figure it out once and for all – they decide to get rid of shyness by talking to a lot of girls, they decide to figure out how the male/female dynamics work (the game) and get good at it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. More guys should do it. The world would be better because of it. But see, the society says it’s wrong! See, there’s nothing wrong with magazines giving advice for women “999 ways to make him fall for you”, but it’s certainly very wrong if a guy does the same.

And as for the girls – they are always looking for reasons to dump the guy. There are books written on this subject. “Forget Mr. Right” is one of them. Someone  actually did a study and discovered that girls, as they get older, they become even pickier and can reject the guy if he in some cases uses some weird word, like “fabulosa” too many times. Or just look at the odds – a really successful PUA (who does bootcamps) will get phone numbers from perhaps 10-20% of girls he talks to. Of that number only about 10% will reply to his text messages, of which perhaps only 3 or 4 agree to meet him. That’s the guy who has lots of time on his hands and is constantly gaming girls left and right. And for us, normal guys who will never ever become nearly as good, the odds are … you guessed it – much lower. So let me compile it to you – if you meet a girl and talk to her and seems like she likes you, there’s 99% chance it’s not going to work out with her because, well there could be many reasons. The biggest reason is where she decides that you’re not good enough for her. So judgmental!

So the solution to all of this is very simple – get more options. If something just doesn’t work out, or the girl rejected you even though she liked you, but now she doesn’t feel the same way, or you text her back and forth, but she avoids meeting you, or she decides it’s not a good idea to meet based on a couple of text messages? Go find another girl. For every close minded girl there are many more interesting, more gorgeous, better dressing girls. You just have to find them and talk to them. If she thinks you’re not good enough, it’s her loss really, not yours. Game on!

p.s. Sometimes you have to give her more time to adjust and … perhaps she’ll warm up to you. Just saying…

What is “The Game” anyway? Do we really play games with women? After all we come into the bar, and engage in conversations with people we don’t know. We try to be funny, we tease, we joke around, we tell stories. We keep them entertained. Most of the times they tell us to get lost, they turn their backs to us, they pretend they’re having serious conversation … right there at some noisy club? And they’re all dressed up in the winter showing skin. I see these girls all the time – I talk to her, she is nice, i share my passions with her, she tells me she is engaged. I leave her alone. Then I see her talking to many other drunk guys at the bar (guys who have no game are too scared to approach unless they had a few drinks). What are they doing? Are they starved for attention? Why do they go to bars? To pick up rich guys? I think so! A female friend of mine recently admitted that girls go to Earl’s and other upscale bars “to pick up suits”. Now excuse me, but that sounds like a game to me. It is the girls gaming us by putting on makeup, short skirts, 5 inch heels and essentially presenting all they have (their looks) up front. Regular guys get mesmerized by this display. Us, players, of course have our “what do you have going for you besides your looks” line.

So I guess everyone plays games. The girl who puts on a makeup. The guy who delivers “you come here often?” line. The bar that is half empty, but keeps people lined-up outside. Yep, that’s a game too. The more time you spend waiting outside, the more you’ll want to get in and buy drinks to be a part of the bar. Even the guy who takes a girl to dinner. He is trying to manipulate her into having sex with her later. She tells him she doesn’t kiss after the first date … she is gaming him to try harder to win her approval. Job interview is also a game – you dress up in business suit and show up trying to game hiring manager into hiring you. He/she is trying to game you with “describe a situation where you made a mistake and what you learned from it” line. It’s conveniently designed to bring down your self esteem and perhaps accept lower offer. Unless you know the game from going to bars and can read their game and game them back. Yep I discovered the game helped my personal and business relationships immensely. It makes you confident,  smart and good negotiator. You recognize thought patterns in people, you can predict what they’re going to say next and what their game is.

There is a book “The art or seduction” which explains that seduction can be used in many different ways, not just male/female interaction. Politicians use game to look charismatic, business people use game to sell to us, kids use game to get parents to do what they want and even a dog will do the tricks so she can get a treat. Game is universal.

So get good at game!

Yes, I am back … stronger than ever. It’s been a while since my last post from July last year. And today I thought, perhaps I should write some more because I caught myself thinking yesterday, man how much you can improve when you stick to it and don’t give up. This post will be about catching up on the things I’ve learned in many winter months.

It can be a long time for a beginner to get some success. For me it took more than a year. I was thinking to myself – this is such a waste of my time. I have to go out, stay late, get rejected, told to get lost, pushed away, sworn at. But the strangest thing, all these rejections make you stronger and happier. Such is life if you want a choice in your personal relationships when so many people settle what they get through circumstances. They meet people at work, through social circle or some places where they see the same people. But what about meeting somebody outside of your usual circles? Somebody you see on the street, at the grocery store, coffee shop or even a bus.

Anyway enough philosophy. This is supposed to be field reports. So lately I’ve discovered that my game is all about trying too hard. Talking too much, trying to impress ladies too much, trying to entertain them etc. This is great if you want to befriend girls, have a nice conversation with them, make them like you (for a while at least), so that you can take them on a date and … buy them a drink/dinner, entertaining them some more and in the end … be told that she doesn’t kiss on the first date! After which she later texts that she was upset that she had to pay for half of the dinner that she ordered and that she “doesn’t like cheap men”. After which I took her on a second date where she ordered a drink and when it came she sat and waited for me to pay for it and we had another conversation where I said that she’s my girl, to which she replied that she is “not your girl”.

After all that experience I’ve changed and started to do and say everything for my own amusement. I would go around and tease people, in a nice way of course. I would tease the two girls that they look like they’re making out, that they look too serious, too agitated and looks like they’re fighting/discussing business deals etc. Its so much fun messing with people. That takes all the pressure from me from trying to impress them and have agenda on my mind.

Another thing that I changed in my game is I stopped talking so much and started to get close to a girl, smile and … just have my presence in front of her. This works wonders. Sometimes we just start dancing, other times we joke around. The key to this is a method by the guy nicknamed Gunwitch. He says – all you have to do is just want her bad and imagine us having sex. This one thing will change your game so much that your body movements, eye contact and touching will convey confidence and desire to a girl and she will not be able to resist it. And the hotter the girl the better you will be gaming her because you’ll just want her more. And it doesn’t matter what you say to her, it’s how you say it.

Another thing I realized. Everyone gets rejected many times. It’s not you. It’s about her. Perhaps she is not feeling well that day, or you’re not her type, or her feet hurt, or whatever many reasons might be. All you can do is get options. So talk to them – engage in conversations anywhere you go. The more you open, the more chances you’ll get. After a while you’ll get more options than you can handle. I’ve heard that many times from all the other guys who are good and it happened to my friends, and recently to me. What a great feeling that is! You find a really sweet girl, who is nice to you, who is educated and well behaved. She is good in bed. She doesn’t make you wait unnecessary for sex. She gets your jokes. She says you’re a fun guy to be around. She is young and gorgeous. She works out. She is adventurous and ready to go at it whenever you find a spontaneous place. She always offers to pay. She thinks bathroom at that bar is kind of creepy … she wants to do it there. And in the end she says she doesn’t want a relationship!

Wouldn’t you go out and get rejected hundreds of times to find someone like that? I would. I did. You too can do it.

I’m thinking Friday before long weekend is always better than Saturday or Sunday that follows it so I’m pumped and ready to go.

We start at Pravda. And … it’s half empty, but as I’m walking up the stairs I’m thinking to myself that half dead place is sometimes better than extremely busy place with every set having bitch shields up. And on the upper level we are pleasantly surprised to find a couple of cute sets at the bar. We open, they give us the smiles and attention, it’s going well but I’m feeling I need to warm up as I’m running of things to say and it’s kind of awkward at the beginning (I know it will pass). So I attempt to cold read what they do and I say they look like they’re in one of the creative professions. I tell them they look somewhat artsy and I tell them they wear artsy shoes. Big mistake! The girl tells me “you guys should not judge what we do by the shoes we wear”. I sense the fear of losing the set and try to salvage it by giving them a compliment but since I don’t feel like giving it, it comes incongruent.

But we stay in the set, my wing teases them, we exchange the names, we play a guessing game on what kind of name they think my friend has and the other girl has. Now that I think about it we should have swapped the girls because my girl was more into him and I was more into another girl and my wing was not into her. The damn chemistry.  Always gets in the way.

At some point I’m openly making fun of the girls as we are in the set with my buddy and we both laugh. I can’t remember what I said but It was after I felt like I was losing a set. Now I’m thinking it’s a good strategy. It pushes them away and shows we are not chasing them and are not desperate. We must be getting other girls. Which we do.

So my girl says when she doesn’t like the guy she introduces herself as Jessica. To which I say “so you must like me then”. She says yeah. I’m thinking, perhaps this set is not going that bad after all. But I don’t want to stay forever with them, I go for the number, she says “I’ll think about it”. I’m thinking I don’t have time to wait for her plus we sort of exhausted the set and it was just the beginning of the night so we eject.

We have a quick chat with my wing, I get this idea to play jealousy game and open another set right next to the previous set. I had this experience before when my set was not going so well, I went and chatted other girls and then came back and the previous set was a lot more receptive.

So we open the other two set. A very young Greek girls. They give us resistance at the beginning, but my urge to show off to other girls is so strong that it motivates me and I plough through and soon they are laughing and smiling. All our stories seem to be working until we get interrupted by some dude who plays a violin. He comes in and starts playing it for them right in front of us. I could fight to recapture my girl if I felt I was getting somewhere with the girl, but I didn’t. We look over to previous set, some dude is talking to them, we are hungry and everyone wants to go check out other places. So we leave.  Now I think I should have challenged myself and went for my previous set and tried to recapture them since now I had more energy but I didn’t want my buddies to leave me there all by myself.

I attempt a banter with a set with a very cute girl “These other guys are checking you out. If you say hello to them, they’ll buy you drinks”. They tell me “That’s great, but anyway, back to our conversation”. I feel so rejected that I can’t come up with anything right away. But then I neg them, “yeah, you guys are super friendly, it’s amazing”. The cute girl smiles and high fives me. We leave them alone. Now I’m thinking I should tell them another banter line. “Yeah, you should get back to your conversation, but just one thing. I have this rule where I talk to the most gorgeous girl at the bar”. Pause. “See those chicks at the bar, can you introduce me to them since I’m shy, and you’re pretty social”. That would completely pull them to my frame and they’d forget their conversation completely. This should work where they try to blow me out at the very beginning.

We walk over to Beer Markt on Esplanade. It has a lineup outside. We don’t bother, jump into my car and go to Spice Route.

The place is not extremely busy, but we still find some sets. Plus the place is so big that if you go into a set and out, there are always fresh sets at the place. I open a set that’s walking around, my buddy seems to be on the mission to introduce me to someone. He does to a girl, but she shows me rings and tells me she’s married. I sense she’s very responsive. If I yell her something, she stops and listens. So starved for attention. Damn these husbands!

We open a two set by the bar. They seem cool, but then start getting bitchy and tell me “since I’ve almost insulted her friend for being Portuguese, we should leave”. We usually do this thing “What’s your background?”, she says Portuguese, we say “Oh”, like in utter disgust, and turn our backs to them as if we dislike them. Usually the girls laugh it off, but these ones take it personally, which kind of pisses me off and I want to ditch them. I know, I know, it’s a shit test and I should remain unreactive and perhaps tease them more, but I don’t feel like it. So I wait for a pause and tell my buddy loudly “We have to go to the bathroom”, grab him and we leave. The girls shout “yeah, have fun together”.

We step away a few meters and open another set right close by and these are cute Russians. I switch to Russian, talk about some interesting stuff, get into rapport building and it seems to be going so well. I see previous set just standing there and nobody talking to them. I’m thinking to myself, “yeah, bitches, that will teach you” as I make my cute Russians laugh and have a good time as they’re so into me. I go for the number and tell her I’m going to take her dancing. She says she doesn’t dance. Then all of a sudden her friend comes back and they quickly say good bye and they leave. I don’t even have time to react. Caught me by surprise. I could’ve tried “hard push” or telling them to stay 2 minutes. I was so sure that I was getting somewhere. Don’t be. You never know.

No problem. We step away and open some really cute two set sitting at the table. It seems they’re Brazilian. My friend chats with one, I chat with her friend. She’s super cute, but almost speaks no English. Every time I ask her something or she wants to ask me something, she turns to her friend for translation. One of the questions is “How old are you?” I tell them I’m 65. Cosmetic surgery works wonders. They laugh and tell me I’m not 65. Then I say I’m 35. My girl says SHE is 35. I’m thinking to myself, shit, I could give you 24 tops. She is so gorgeous. Her face is almost 10. I can’t see her figure since she’s sitting. I go for her number as I didn’t want to stay there forever (she was with a guy and girl friends who were sitting there visibly bothered), plus my buddy tells me pizza he ordered before we entered Spice Route is getting cold. I was almost going to tell them that we need to get pizza and realized how cheap that would have made us look, leaving restaurant to get some pizza. I get a number, hug and kiss my cute Brazillian (I don’t know if she goes for Brazillian too, hope not).

We sit at Pizza Pizza and there’s a set eating 2 tables over as we proceed to throw rolled up papers at them. It’s almost as much fun as in highschool. But the girls ignore us. Later they leave. We discuss why and decide to sit at the adjacent table and if they ignore us, I’m going to neg them that “We do everything to get your attention, but you guys give us zero reaction. We expect at least a finger or told to get lost or something, come on”. I can’t believe how much fun we are having tonight.

We go back to Spice Route and it looks like people are leaving. We walk around, I see a two set at the table checking us out, so I walk over and open with “You guys should stop checking out our asses. I’m not a piece of meat. I’m a hot guy, but you should still control your urges”. My wing jumps in with “Yeah and you guys should buy us drinks or something”. They say but that’s not customary. My wing says “but you could set a new trend” and “if you did buy us drinks what would they be”. I’m thinking jeez, this is so good. Team effort at banter. The girls seem pretty intelligent, they invite us to sit down as we chat with them even though my girl told me she is engaged. We do sit down. We have a very intelligent conversation. They cold read us. I’m somewhat impressed. She said I work with numbers or good with numbers. Big deal. Truism. Whatever.

Then I tell her my real age because I don’t care at this moment. She asks me how old do I think she looks. And this is where I burn again. I look at her, she looks somewhere 30+. So I go lover and say “perhaps late 20s”. And she is 25. Crap! Would have lost a set if I cared. Always go unreasonably low with the girls. Just in case. Or better yet just tell her “I don’t know how old you are but you look gorgeous, come here” and just kiss her.

We chat until we are getting kicked out. Then the girls hail a cab and tell us, their boyfriends trust them to be faithful when they go out. I’m thinking, no shit. They just used us to keep them company for good part of the night. We should have done something differently. We should have either openly told them “you guys are a waste of time for us and you should go home to your boyfriends instead of flirting with hot guys” or “what night is it? It’s the night where we’re on the mission to rescue some not too bad looking girls from their boring boyfriends”. It they said they’re not boring, I’d say “well they are not here and you guys are all over us” so come here and go for heavy kino, hugging and kissing. Be extremely dominant and see how that works. Interesting experiment. We’ll try that next time.

Overall it was a night with tons of fun. We talked to a lot of very good sets and it went well. Everything is a learning experience. No matter how good or bad set is, we learn something and it’s crystal clear what happened, what we did well, what we didn’t. I feel like we are taking giant steps forward in improvement.

What can we do better:

• Tease more make fun of them more, kino more.
• Challenge myself more by getting a set jealous and then go back to previous set, see if that set changed, then perhaps switch back. We need more games. It’s terribly fun.
• Never assume the set is going well, never give an excuse to a girl e.g. “Give me your number, we’ll go dancing”. She will say “I don’t like dancing”.
• At the end of night don’t go for attention whores. Look for sets to pull.

Haven’t gone out for a couple of Saturdays and I can honestly say it’s not worth meeting a girl on prime night such as Saturday. Tons of people go out that night, you can stay in one place and wait for new sets to enter as you continually practice and have fun.

We meet at Spice and I see my two buddies in a set talking away and joking around. I open a couple of sets but somehow I’m cold. I don’t seem entertaining or come off too strong. But regardless. I’m working on my banter lines and I can sense I’m getting better. I use “You guys not going to attract a hot guy if you huddle together. You need to be more accessible. You need to open up and strike a pose” They usually say, “well we’re not trying to meet anyone, cause we’re in a relationship”. To which I reply that “you don’t seem to be in love. Usually people in love have this tremendous happiness and shine, which you don’t have”. All that usually is pretty funny and rapport building. The more times I use it, the better I become. We chat with all sets I can find, but somehow I sense I’m just not getting where I want to be. Some girls are boring. They smoke. So I tell them loudly “We have to go to the bathroom” and we turn around and leave them. My wing says “that felt good”. Yes it’s fun. We don’t like them. We should treat them the same way girls treat us.

So we bounce and check out 2Cats. That place is way too loud and kind of stinks. I get a lot of looks but not much else there. So we bounce to Beer Market. That place is not my favourite since I never had any good sets there. But this time we open a very nice 2set of 8.5s. We chat, they’re nice. They ask what I do, I tell them I work at a zoo, I’m a kangaroo trainer. And she laughs so hard and tells her friend. They sense I’m joking but still love it. I push as hard as I can go with it. Then I go for the number but the girl says she’s “sort of with someone”. I tell her she doesn’t seem in love. I ignore it and keep going. We chat some more. She still wouldn’t give me her number and I’m not sure what else I can do. So we leave and go back to Spice.

There I spot a cute 3 set or “long line Canadians” who are pretty good at bantering. As usually we get too much into that. There’s too much teasing and they leave. We need to be more funny and progress to rapport as soon as we can instead of staying and bantering.

So overall the night was awesome. We had many sets. We were always in a set. We had tons of fun. Solid 4 hours of interaction. These are great for progress. So next set of goals are:

• Continue practising banter lines. They’re fun, they entertain and then we can progress.
• If the girl says she needs to go back to her friends, I need to go for the push and tell her to stay and talk to me some more. The same can be done if someone tells me they’re in a relationship right now. Just need to stay with it and commit to pushing harder and try to convince her more.

Went out with a buddy on Sunday night and it’s extremely slow night. We walk around and enter the pub and see a two set just finishing a dinner. Perfect! No distractions, nobody else is at the bar, so logically it makes all sense. We can use them for practice and have some fun.

I’m in my confident self, just walk over and open them with “Hey, you guys seem fun, what’s up?” And we launch into a banter with them. One of them is paramedic, another is an engineer. Both very cute Asians. They ask me what I do, I tell them I work at the Zoo and am a Kangaroo trainer. My buddy says he owns a kangaroo and needs my help so that’s how we know each other. Then he says I’m going to get my own reality show on TV “Kangaroo trainer”. Girls laugh and tell us we BS them. We pretend to be upset. Oh my god, it’s so much fun messing with people.

Now I remember another case of us being in half empty bar Earl’s where I see a lonely girl by the window and a guy in a suit sitting away from her, so I approach him with “Do you know this girl?” He says no, so I ask “let me introduce you to her”. He asks is I know her, I say no, but it doesn’t matter. I promise to tell her that he is very successful Bay street business man who owns a law firm and is a very cool guy. He laughs and calls me crazy. I walk over to the girl and mess with her, telling her this guy is checking you out. I think he likes you, go over, say hello, he’ll buy you a drink. She laughs and tells me she is waiting for a date. I tell her It’s great, cause we are not hitting on her because we are “way out of her league”. It’s awesome! We have so much fun.

Anyway. Lately I decide that instead of going out on slow nights of Monday through Wednesday I’m going to set up a meeting with one of the girls I have collected phone numbers off. Four of them want to meet me. It’s actually pretty easy – once you get her number, you don’t have to be amazing. All you have to do is just to keep contact with her every couple of days and have some light banter via Text and she asks to meet you.  And once you meet her outside bar or club environment it’s good to find out if there is any chemistry between us.

Sometimes a girl is too quiet and you end up talking for entire date because unless you talk, nothing happens, she’s just walking there quietly. I enjoy meeting smart girls who have things going in their lives and have something to say and do and joke around. So meeting them is a good way to figure out how she ranks intelligence wise. That way you can practice being funny and interesting in a low pressure environment.

One thing I noticed – after about a year in the game I notice where the girl is at. Is she bored, is she having a good time, am I being interesting, to I have to switch topics, to I have to tease her more, can I just be a nice guy, am I telling interesting stories etc. Of course the date is going great because I’m in confident and in control and I know what I’m doing. But after the date and after it all settles I find out if I’m still interested in her. Was she fun? Was she interesting? Was there any chemistry? I don’t want to put in all the work, spend all the money if in the end it’s going to be too much investment and not enough return.

I love this game. It’s so great to have a clue where you’re going and what are you doing.  Every guy should learn this stuff. It’s hard work though and only the most persistent persevere. I’ve been ignored, slapped across the eyes, given fingers, but you learn to handle everything a girl throws at you. All this taught me many lessons and made me the man I am today. So all you fellows who are just starting out, keep it up and you’ll see the results. The improvement is not always linear. You improve the most at the beginning, but then it sort of plateaus, sometimes you even step back a bit before going forward and once you get through all that, it becomes easy even if you’re not trying hard. I’m not there yet.

Read a ton of stuff on banter lines, now I need to try some of them. It’s a slow night, we walk around and try messing with people. It goes better. Some girls don’t get it that it’s banter. Some are actually very receptive as they shout at us, make fun of us. It’s exactly as they say – brings a little girl in them and it is much more fun than just being yourself.

There’s a huge U2 concert at Rogers centre and there are tons of people at bars near union station. We practice some more.

Start with the day game at Yonge and Dundas square. There’s a mass of people there but not very target rich. We walk around, we chat, we have a good time then evening comes.

Every set I open it seems to go well for a while but then girls leave. I realize I have a problem. I’m not playful enough. Too much reading on how to just be yourself and talk about the stuff that interests me. Guess what! It doesn’t work. Girls are bored out of their mind. They’re not laughing. They ask questions, they learn about me and then they leave. At the end of the night it gets very depressing. I can open, I can talk, but my talk perhaps is not suited for bars and clubs where people go to have a good time.  And I’m apparently too serious. I need to mess with people. I used to be fearless, making fun of strangers all the time then I changed into being myself (nice guy) and now I suck.

What to do?

Need to learn some banter. Back to the drawing board.